


Just Keep Trying

by dovingbird



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, F/M, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, New Relationship, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Slurs, verbal conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:05:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's normally how it goes, isn't it: the two heroes fall in love and hook up and start a relationship, and then the curtain falls. You don't get to see what comes after. You don't get to see when it's not easy. You don't get to see one of them fighting through internalized homophobia nor the other one struggling with their self-worth.</p>
<p>All you know is the happily ever after. But you don't get to see how they get there.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>A filled commission. With Suzy being Arin's loving wife and biggest cheerleader all in one, he finally steps out and admits his feelings to Dan. Turns out that getting together wasn't the hard part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Keep Trying

It's pretty late at night, but that's not stopping Suzy from getting shit done. They might have an office, they might have a manager, and they might have an intern, but does that mean her job is done? Never. This part of the job is maybe a little easier than others - namely laying on her stomach with her laptop and browsing the recently released new makeup from one of her favorite brands - but she can't really expect herself to focus on anything harder than that. Not when she's constantly checking the clock and flicking her eyes to her phone's black screen.  
  
And then, just as she's thinking about taking a nice long bath, she hears the front door open, and she sits up in bed. "Baby?" she calls, heart pounding in anticipation, and not even seconds later Arin is just about ripping open the bedroom door, a grin stretching his face.  
  
"He said yes," he breathes as he leans in and catches her face between his palms, planting a warm kiss on her lips.  
  
God, he must have, she can't help but think, because there's a new taste on his lips that she's absolutely unfamiliar with but that maybe makes her toes curl a little. "Oh my God," she whispers the second Arin pulls back for breath, her grin matching his own, "I'm so happy for you! Tell me everything!"  
  
"I-I don't know," Arin says with a laugh. He runs his fingers through his hair and starts pacing. "Like, it literally came out of nowhere. We're just hanging out eating Chinese takeout at his place and somewhere in the middle of my mouthful of lo mein I must've told him I liked him and he...he was into it? Like, he kissed me? Can you believe that?"  
  
"Eww, even with the lo mein?"  
  
"I-I mean, it was just on the cheek or whatever-" That makes Suzy blink, makes her slow down and identify that new taste on his lips as Chinese food, actually, yep, that's what it was. "Shut up, I'm happy." He smirks and kisses her again, then buries his face in her neck and breathes out another little laugh. "Jesus Christ, I'm dating Danny. He actually said yes. What the fuck?"  
  
Suzy wraps her arms around him and pulls him onto the bed with her, giggling as she rolls them around a little bit. "Look at you. I can tell you're happy. God, I'm so glad. I was sick of seeing you pouting around like a puppy or something."  
  
"Yeah, well, maybe now I don't have to." Arin leans up on his elbows and looks down at her, smoothing some hair out of her face. "...God, why are you so good to me?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You've been the biggest fan of this the whole time. And not just because it made your clit happy."  
  
Suzy sticks her tongue out at that.  
  
"Like, for years, you know?" He shakes his head in amazement. "'Oh Suzy, I've got a crush on this girl.' 'Oh Suzy, I've got a crush on this genderfluid cutie.' 'Oh Suzy, I've got a crush on my co-star.' Seriously? Every time you don't even flinch, you just...make me go for it."  
  
"Is it...that weird?" She wrinkles her brow, then brushes the back of her knuckles over his flushed cheek. "Like, is it strange for you to think I'd wanna see you happy?"  
  
Arin hesitates, nibbling on his bottom lip, before he shrugs. "I...I don't know. Just...incredible."  
  
It's not rare that she sees that flash of vulnerability in his eyes, and she reacts instinctively, pulling him down for one more soft kiss. "Listen," she murmurs against his lips, eyes closed, "I want you to be happy. No matter what that means. No matter who you love. No matter how hard it is sometimes when things go wrong. I'm always gonna be here, okay? No matter what. So go be happy, silly."  
  
They touch their foreheads together, a warm grounding spot that can make Arin's heart slow and his blood cool a little every time, and he breathes a soft sigh. "Yeah. Okay." He opens his eyes, his eyelashes tickling against hers. "I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too, babe. Always will."  
  
He leans in for another kiss, fingers slipping just under the hem of her shirt, and Suzy wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in, more than happy to press every curve they have together.  
  
~~  
  
Arin's practically sweating the next day when they head to the office even though the air's still pretty cool this early in the morning. It shouldn't be a big deal - he can see that from how Suzy's clicking around the screen of her phone and not even catching the almost constant looks he keeps sending her - but it is, somehow, his palms slick and his heart pounding and his breathing just a little too fast to be normal.  
  
He keeps it together, though, through California morning traffic and annoying radio deejays and long senseless hunts for a parking spot. He holds it all in as they head to the office, Suzy a few steps ahead of him and already in work mode. But then she opens the door to the office and the first thing he sees is a long-legged bundle curled up on the couch and his heart almost explodes out of his chest.  
  
Boyfriend. He has a _boyfriend._  
  
The breath rushes straight out of Arin for a moment, an endless moment where Suzy's loudly greeting Barry and Ross is shouting something about his fucking Cintiq shitting the bed yet again and the air conditioner is kicking on, and then slowly, ever so slowly, Danny meets his eyes and smiles. And as Arin's heart simultaneously melts and explodes, he grins back and shuts the office door behind him.  
  
They didn't discuss it, yet, how they were gonna tell everybody. The thought brushes over Arin's brain as he crosses the room and throws himself on the couch next to Dan, instinctively lifts an arm to drape over the couch behind him. "Hey," he says, voice low and warm, matching the honey dripping through his veins and making him feel a little drowsy.  
  
"'Sup, dude?" Danny replies. "Ready for another day?"  
  
"Yeah, probably. Guess I can handle that as long as you're there," he says with a grin.  
  
Dan's eyes widen for a moment, and he flicks them toward the other three in the room. Something odd happens around then, the way that he curls into himself just a little tighter, how he shies away from Arin's hand when it brushes over the back of his neck, and just as suddenly as Arin arrived Danny's hopping to his feet. "Well, uh. Yeah, it's good to see you too, bro." His voice is as chipper as ever, filled to the brim with energy, and as he rustles a hand through his hair he thumbs back toward the kitchen. "I'm gonna grab me a drink or whatever. You want one?"  
  
Something isn't sitting right on Arin's gut. He narrows his eyes at him a little, wondering at the little bite in his chest. "...yeah, sure, grab me a soda."  
  
"Cool."  
  
Arin watches him closely as he walks away, the way he skims a hand over Suzy's back in greeting as he passes her, how he instinctively responds to Barry's fist with a bump of his own. Every step away makes something inside of him feel antsy, so he comes to his feet, follows behind him while the others are getting settled at their desks and chatting. As Danny leans in front of the fridge to inspect their choices - Arin shamelessly checks out his ass as he does so - Arin doesn't hesitate to touch a hand to the small of his back. "Whatcha getting?"  
  
It's immediate, how Danny stands tall and makes Arin's hand fall away. "Uh. This one?" He isn't even really focusing on the fridge anymore, just grabs two cans precariously with his long-fingered hand and shuts the door. "I'm gonna get settled in the Grump room so we can start recording, okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Okay." Arin stares blankly at the fridge, listening to Dan's steps recede, before he instinctively grabs a bag of Skittles from the cabinet and follows along. The second he has the door shut Dan meets his eyes with a certain tentativeness. He knows he's doing it too, then, doesn't he? Arin crosses his arms over his chest and wrinkles his brow. "So, uh...did I do something wrong, or...?"  
  
"...what do you mean?" Dan asks, all wide eyes and surprise.  
  
"Like, you...you don't want me to touch you, or like...is that it?"  
  
"No, dude, it's not that, I-I just-"  
  
"I mean, that kind of fucking seems like what it is, gotta say."  
  
"Yeah, but it's not." Dan flops down on the couch and sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I-I just...I don't know if I'm ready for everybody to know, you know what I mean?"  
  
Arin cocks his head to the side. "Why?"  
  
"I don't know, dude, I just-"  
  
"'Cuz I have to tell you that Suzy already knows, like I told her as soon as I got home last night and stuff."  
  
Dan holds up a hand and Arin comes to a stop, forces himself to clamp his mouth shut. "Yeah, I get that, and that's cool. Like, she's your _wife_. I'd never tell you not to tell her anything. But I don't know about Barry and Ross knowing yet, okay? This is...really really new to me. I just need a little bit to adjust before we tell anybody."  
  
And there's a million and one things Arin can say to that - _"You're ashamed of me?" "Do you really think they'd give a shit about us?" "Exactly how long is it gonna take before I can just hug you in public again without it being too gay for your tastes?"_ \- but all he says is "Okay."  
  
~~  
  
They stay late, a little stressed by faulty equipment and realizing that their last forty minutes of footage at the end of the day didn't record correctly, and by the time Suzy pops in as they're rechecking all the equipment and software to give Arin a kiss on the forehead Dan looks like he's about to rip all of his hair out in frustration. It's interesting, though, the way Dan watches Suzy tentatively as she tips Arin's head back further to kiss his lips, then how he flicks his eyes away when they both look at him.  
  
Suzy doesn't comment on it, though Arin's sure the thoughts are running through her head just as fast as they are his. She just smiles. "Hey, I've gotta get home. Any way you can give Arin a ride home, Danny? I'll give Barry one."  
  
He looks up at her with wide eyes, hesitates a bit before he nods. "Yeah, sure, no problem."  
  
"Awesome. You're the best!" She dips over the back of the couch to give Dan a hug from behind, and he blinks at Arin before he relaxes a little and smiles, laying one of his arms over hers and squeezing in response.  
  
She's only just disappeared and shut the door behind her when Dan exhales audibly and shakes his head. "God, you're a lucky son of a bitch."  
  
Arin can't help but laugh as he plays with the cable in his hands again, making sure it's fitting into the port properly. "You're telling me. Gorgeous wife and sexy boyfriend all in one."  
  
Dan laughs too, but it's softer, more understated, and he wraps his arms around his long legs and rests his chin on his knees as he watches Arin work. "Yeah, well..."  
  
There's a heavy silence as Arin pulls back from the cable and rubs his hands free of the small amount of dust that had built up on it, and the second he locks eyes with Danny the older man looks away. "...what's up?" Arin finally asks.  
  
"Nothing, I just..." Dan bites his bottom lip, then shakes his head. "It's late and we've got shit to do, forget it."  
  
"The recording can wait, seriously. We've got asstons of content for Barry to edit already, so fuck it." Arin leans into the couch arm and watches Danny. "You've been weird all day."  
  
"Have I?" he asks softly. He glances over his shoulder, as if worried that people are suddenly gonna pour in through the door from the empty office. "I don't know, dude, I've just been...processing, I guess."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It's all just new and weird, okay? This isn't exactly something that I'm well-versed in."  
  
Arin hesitates, mostly because he really can't understand that too well. His whole life he's known he's attracted to pretty much anyone that so much as breathes, has never dealt with a whole lot of angst about it, and honestly? Dan's life seems like it's been chock full of opportunities for exploration like Arin never really got to have. Living in an apartment full of other dudes? Being super high like 95% of the time? Being in close quarters with a band of other guys while chock full of adrenaline and tension from performing? How the hell _didn't_ he experiment any? How was Arin the one that ended up swordfighting with dicks aplenty instead?  
  
Dan doesn't say anything else, and Arin twists a few strands of his own hair around his finger before he speaks. "Do you...are you not into it anymore?"  
  
Danny flicks his eyes over and meets his, immediately sitting a little taller. "What? No!"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Dude!" Dan gives him a little half-smile of surprise. "I've spent like months thinking about your dick and now suddenly you think I'm not committed to this curiosity? Fuck you."  
  
"Is that all it is, though? Curiosity?"  
  
"No, that's not-" He huffs and rubs at one of his eyes. "That's not what I meant."  
  
"Then what did you mean?" Arin hates himself a little for needing this reassurance, for fishing until he gets the response that he wants, but he's never been able to deal with shit with no closure. The unspoken things build up between his temples until his skull has no room for thoughts.  
  
So Dan sighs softly. He meets Arin's eyes. And he speaks so softly that he can barely hear him. "I...I can't believe I'm saying this, but...look, I've gotten off to you a... _disturbing_ amount of times in the past few months." A quiet laugh creeps in, filled to the brim with nerves. "Every single thing that happens to me, I wanna text you the second it happens just to share it. And sometimes, it...feels really weird coming out of my room in the morning when I'm hearing someone move around the apartment and seeing that it's Barry instead of you."  
  
Shit, that's heavier than Arin expected to get from him. Part of him feels guilty for pushing him, and the other part is swelling with the validation.  
  
"So yeah, it's different, it's weird, it's stuff I'm not used to, and I'm sorry if it's gonna take me a little while to get in the groove of it, okay?"  
  
"Dude," Arin says softly, "it's okay. Seriously. I'm just-" He chuckles. "I'm sorry, I was being a dick."  
  
"Nah." Dan reaches out and touches his leg, giving him a squeeze on the thigh and only looking slightly nervous from it. "You're good."  
  
Arin grins at him, then moves to start rifling through the cartridges, looking for something a little softer for them to record, something they can detox on after the recording fiasco of earlier. But it's only been a few seconds before he realizes that Dan's hand is still on his thigh, and he looks at it for a moment before meeting his eyes again.  
  
Dan is still watching him, biting his bottom lip, and Arin stares at that for a few moments longer than he should before Dan speaks. "Look..." His voice is low, warm, just distracting enough to make Arin's blood surge a little faster. He's such a goddamn distracting motherfucker. "We can...try things? Maybe? Because that might sort of ease me into everything?"  
  
Shit, is he suggesting what he thinks he is? "Things?" Arin says softly.  
  
Dan breaks the eye contact, bites his bottom lip one more time. "Yeah, like..."  
  
Arin rests his hand on Dan's, feels even more validated by the shiver he sees go through him. "...sexy things?"  
  
Danny laughs, but when he looks up his eyes look just a touch more heated, like another log's been thrown onto the fire. "Yeah, maybe."  
  
Normally Arin might have the patience for a slow tease. Normally he might be willing to slow his roll and run his hands slowly over Danny's skin until he's hard and leaking precum and begging. But he's so driven by the need to know that Dan wants him for real that he thuds his bare knees onto the carpet between Danny's legs and looks up at him. "Can I blow you?"  
  
Dan's eyes widen. "Shit-"  
  
"Would you like that?"  
  
"Fuck yeah."  
  
Arin just about rips Danny's zipper down, pulling the tight jeans down his legs until he can mouth at the slight swell in his boxers. The sharp inhale from above him just makes him lathe his tongue a little faster, squeeze his naked thighs a little harder, and it doesn't take long, teasing him until he's hard, until tugging down his waistband makes his cock practically bounce. It's so much, suddenly seeing the thick uncut shape of it, how it fits between his jagged sharp hipbones, how he couldn't even dream up a better cock.  
  
God, he thinks, sometimes he's gayer than he ever anticipated.  
  
Arin glances up, sees how Dan's face is already flushed and hears how he's forcing himself to take careful and measured breaths. It's more power than he thought possible, like the first time he made Suzy come just with his mouth, like the first time he realized Danny was indeed checking out his ass in a nonironic way, and he doesn't hesitate. Just takes his first taste of Dan's hot skin.  
  
"Holy shit-" He gasps and digs his fingers into Arin's hair, all deep just like he likes - fuck, how does he know he likes that? - and the second Arin nuzzles into the touch Dan tightens his hold until he's practically ripping it all out of his head. But his wrists are loose. He lets Arin move just like he wants: hard, fast, a little too desperate.  
  
It's too good. It's everything he wants. For a second he loses his head, lets his eyes just about roll back in his head at the sheer need to please him, to hear him lose himself, to drown in Danny, but then he's opening his eyes again and watching him. He wants to see what he looks like when he's desperate. He pulls off and ignores Danny's pained gasp just before he murmurs "Look at me, Dan."  
  
Dan sucks a sharp breath through his teeth.  
  
"Dan..." He grins around the word and wraps his hand around Danny's cock, jacking it nice and slow. "You gonna do what I tell you to, Danny?"  
  
Danny's brows furrow. His breathing kicks up.  
  
Arin slithers to his feet, feels Dan's fingers loosen in his hair, and he leans until he's just a breath away from his face, his own hand never slowing on his cock. "Open your eyes, Dan," he whispers.  
  
He does. He finally does. And he stares deep into Arin's eyes for three long seconds, breaths loud and heavy and erratic, before he gasps and plants his hands on his chest and fucking shoves him away.  
  
Arin stumbles back, tripping over cartridges and stubbing his toe and full of horror, and the second he zeroes in on Dan he realizes he's doubled over himself, that Danny can't breathe, that he's clawing at his own arms and leaving ugly red marks behind. "I'm sorry-" Danny's saying, "I'm so fucking sorry holy shit I'm sorry I'm sorry-"  
  
"Shh shh shh." Arin's mindlessly hushing as he climbs onto the couch and wraps his arms around him, pulling him close. "Holy shit, dude."  
  
"I don't know what the fuck just happened!" Dan's eyes well up with tears that burn hot into Arin's t-shirt.  
  
Arin does. Arin knows a panic attack when he sees one. And as he smooths down Dan's hair and whispers words of safety against his skin all he can feel is the well of guilt in his chest.  
  
~~  
  
"It's me, I know it is," Arin's saying as he paces back and forth in front of Suzy, hands in his hair. "Fuck, I can't believe I fucked up everything this fast, like, he tells me he needs things to stay slow, and what do I do? I fucking ruin it in like five seconds. God, why can't I just shut up and listen for once in my life?"  
  
"Baby," Suzy says as soothingly as she can, reaching to grab his hand and slow his pacing. "You said he _told_ you he wanted to try some things, okay? So you did. You literally did exactly what he said."  
  
"Yeah, but I went so fast, Suzy, I literally tried to blow him less than three seconds after he said that."  
  
"But did he tell you to stop?"  
  
Arin huffs and buries his face in his hands.  
  
"Did he?"  
  
"No," he mutters, muffled, then drags his hands down his cheeks. "I asked if it was okay, he said yes, so I did it."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"But I wasn't playing attention to the fucking signs. I was so caught up in trying to get him over the goddamn moon that I missed all the warnings the whole way, you know? Do you know how shitty of me that is?"  
  
"Okay, so try again."  
  
"Suzy-"  
  
"Not the blowing thing, shit, no, I mean...just start over again. Let him make the first move, you know? Just don't push him. And he'll figure it all out when he's ready."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
She presses a kiss to the back of his hand and makes the corners of his lips twitch in an unbidden smile. "Yeah. Pretty damn sure."  
  
~~  
  
It's not easy after that, necessarily, but it's not unbearable. It's almost platonic all over again, just the two of them recording and bullshitting their way through terrible games, except now Danny's legs will be resting in his lap, or Arin will throw an arm around Dan's shoulders while he's playing for once. And yeah, maybe now Arin's jacking it twice as often - there's some reluctant hesitation with going to Suzy for a quickie when the whole reason he's hot and bothered is thinking about Dan's cock in his mouth - but hey, Dan's happy. And for the record, so is Arin.  
  
Still. It's just strange. A solid month without even so much as a kiss on the cheek...it just doesn't feel right. Arin's a romantic guy straight down to the core of him, and the fastest way for him to show his love? Physicality. Affectionate touches, kisses every five seconds, full-body cuddles, all of it. And not being able to share that with Dan almost makes him feel like Arin's being the shittiest boyfriend around.  
  
He takes him out to lunch a month into their relationship, just the two of them, and they absolutely load up on some motherfucking sushi. It's easy, just like it always is, laughing and joking and kidding around, but there's also a softness to it that Arin can't help but appreciate, how Dan asks after a few things Suzy's been working on outside of the office, how he isn't afraid to listen when Arin softly comments on some stress he's been having over so much as starting a new animation project that came to mind a week or two ago. It's easy.  
  
Maybe that's why he opens his big mouth even knowing that things could go downhill very quickly from it.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Arin says softly, rubbing his chopsticks together just to burn off a touch of that anxious energy.  
  
Dan grins at him. "Yeah, dude, sure, anything."  
  
"Are you..." He hesitates. He rolls the words over and over again in his head before he finally spits them out. "...happy like this?"  
  
The grin immediately falls away. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Like...this. Are you happy being with me like this?"  
  
"I-I don't-"  
  
"Acting like we always did. No...really strong contact, no kissing, no dates, definitely no sex, none of that."  
  
Dan looks around quickly, then leans close and drops his voice. "Arin-"  
  
He holds up a hand. "Let me just..." Then takes a deep breath. "Because honestly, dude, it's seriously just like we're friends with a title, and that's all. And that's something I'm super not used to and that I never saw as being something you would want with all the stories I've ever heard. So I just wanted to ask. Are you happy like this?"  
  
He opens and closes his mouth wordlessly, staring at him with those big sparkling eyes that Arin fell half in love with the second he saw them. And then he's looking away just as he sucks in a deep, audible breath and lets it out, the air shaking just a tad. "...I-I don't know," he finally murmurs.  
  
Arin's an impatient motherfucker, always has been, so he immediately steps in. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't...it's never been like this, Arin. God, how long have we been friends? How long have you been like the best thing in my life?" Dan shakes his head. "Do you know how weird that was? Just waking up one day and realizing that goddamn, you feel the same fucking way about your best friend that you felt toward every girlfriend you've ever had? Fucked me up, you know that."  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"Girls are easy, Arin. I knew what to fucking do with my girlfriends." He laughs and shakes his head, gesturing vaguely toward him. "I don't know what the hell to do with you."  
  
Arin leans forward to match him, elbows square on the table. "Do you... _think_ about what the hell you might do with me?"  
  
Dan bites his bottom lip and grins like a high schooler, looking down. "...yeah, maybe."  
  
"And do you, like... _like_ what you think about?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up," he says with another laugh, that tinkly and free sound that he loves so much. "You know I fucking do."  
  
"Then you do that shit, dude. That's what the hell you do with me. I don't care if it's watching the most ridiculous anime you can find or sticking your tongue down my throat, I'm gonna be one hundred percent into it."  
  
"Oh my God, will you shut up," he says through his chuckle as he scans the room again.  
  
"That being said..." Arin quirks a brow. "Do you maybe wanna come over tonight while Suzy's out with Holly and watch some really ridiculous anime?" When Dan bites his bottom lip he waves his hand through the air. "Seriously, that's all it has to be. Just hanging out together."  
  
It takes a few seconds, but Dan finally shrugs. "I mean, hell yeah, dude, why the hell not?"  
  
"Fucking fantastic."  
  
~~  
  
Spoiler: the first episode doesn't even get started. Instead somehow they've ended up with Arin having three well-lubed fingers up his ass and sweating and panting while Dan hovers a little nervously on his knees less than a full couch cushion away, a condom on his cock and his hand working a thick slathering of lube over it as well.  
  
"I'm not gonna eat you, dude," Arin says with a breathy little laugh. "C'mere."  
  
"Yeah, uh...sure."  
  
"You okay?" Arin asks for the eight millionth time. "This cool?"  
  
Danny nods a hell of a lot faster than he has been. "Fuck yeah."  
  
"Okay. Just tell me if we need to stop."  
  
"I know, I will, shut up already," he says with all the audibly fake bravado he can muster. But he kneewalks his way over anyway and presses his hands into the cushions on either side of Arin's head, settling over him. "Shit. Okay."  
  
"It's just like every other time you've fucking done anal, Dan," Arin says teasingly.  
  
"Fuck you, it's not, there's this big fucking thing that keeps poking me in the stomach," Dan says with a chuckle, eying Arin's cock like he both wants to knock it away like a fly and slick it up with his tongue.  
  
Arin just smirks at him as he wraps a leg around his waist and quirks a brow. "C'mon. You ready?"  
  
"Absolutely not," Danny breathes, but he presses the head of his cock against his opening with a quiet gasp anyway.  
  
It's not Arin's first rodeo - he and Suzy have more than a few toys in their arsenal - and he keeps himself as loose and relaxed as he can for a guy whose most recent greatest dreams are literally becoming true right before his eyes. He can't help but marvel at the warmth of Danny's hip under his hand, the thick aroma of their sex and sweat and nerves and pheromones, the heavy stretch from the cock filling him. It's incredible. The second Dan's fully inside of him he starts a steady rhythm, panting all the while.  
  
"Fuck, Dan," Arin groans as he arches his back, eyes hovering right between them, right where they're joined, right where Danny's making those steady thrusts that make his own cock twitch with almost every movement. But then he remembers. He shoots his eyes up to Dan, but no, Dan's watching him right back, eyes wide, lips parted, like he's both amazed and confused that this is actually happening.  
  
But he doesn't look away. He doesn't hide.  
  
Thank God.  
  
Arin works his hips with Dan's until they're both gasping and groaning, until their hair is slick with sweat and their bodies are shining. And he's close, he can feel it, but he wants more, wants to be a little selfish, so he looks up at Danny through half-lidded eyes and whispers "Can you touch me?"  
  
"You mean like..."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I, uh-" And Arin can see the nerves start popping up on his lover's face, the fear, the anxiety, so he reaches up and touches two fingers to Dan's lips with a shushing sound and takes himself in hand instead. Yeah, fuck, that's okay, that'll fucking do, he can handle that.  
  
He's always imagined that Dan would be gorgeous when he comes, but everything Arin envisioned pales in comparison to the man above him saying his name and putting an almost bruising grip on his hip. And Arin follows him right over the edge, somehow having the presence of mind to catch all his jizz in his palm.  
  
Dan doesn't let himself collapse on Arin, much as Arin wouldn't mind it. No, he holds himself steady above him until he comes back to his right mind. And it's funny somehow, the fact that they've fucked and Arin's blown him and whatever else and they haven't even fucking _kissed_ , so he wraps a hand around the back of Danny's neck and gently pulls, coaxing him close, preparing to lean up and capture his lips.  
  
Instead Dan laughs and leans back just far enough. "Dude, we're all sweaty, ugh."  
  
"I don't care," Arin whispers back with a grin, leaning up on his elbow.  
  
"Yeah, but _I_ do, c'mon, quit it."  
  
"What, you don't want a 'congrats we just fucked' make out session?"  
  
"I mean, mostly I just wanna get this condom off and my hair pulled back, so."  
  
And it's such a small thing, but so many small things have been stacking on top of each other for a month straight that as Dan climbs off the couch and goes for his shirt Arin feels the frustration churning in his gut and snaps "Dan!"  
  
"What?" Dan snaps back just as quickly, turning on his heel, clearly prepared for a fight.  
  
But he can't fucking do it. He can't say the words on the tip of his tongue. So Arin lets out a slow, frustrated sigh through his nose before he shakes his head. "Never mind, dude."  
  
Dan doesn't push it and Arin doesn't hint and they get themselves cleaned up and dressed and watch that goddamn anime just a little too far away from each other on the couch.  
  
~~  
  
He doesn't go to Suzy this time. He's too stubborn. And over the next two weeks he and Dan are back to that platonic state, barely touching, just making eyes at each other and talking constantly and being almost inseparable both in the office and out. It's nothing too different from how they've always been, which might be why Barry and Ross don't so much as bat an eyelash, but at the same time _it's nothing too different from how they've always been._ It makes Arin tense somehow, like his skin is too tight. Like his tongue is too dry to speak.  
  
They're all out at lunch together one Friday, squeezed tight into a large booth. And honestly? It's been a good fucking day. They've recorded some good shit, all their tech's been working just fine, they're ahead on editing, and they're all just living the dream. And on top of that Arin's squeezed between Suzy and Dan in the booth, her curvy thigh warm against one of his legs and Dan's firm one against the other, and it's dizzying, being surrounded by his partners, being surrounded by these two people he cares so much for, so he does what comes naturally.  
  
He grabs both of their hands.  
  
Barry's in the middle of telling some ridiculous story that everybody's focused on, but Arin doesn't miss the way that Dan whips his head around, his long hair just about smacking him in the face. And when he turns his head, still grinning from Barry's words, he's not expecting to see a look of sheer horror written across his boyfriend's face just before he snatches his hand away.  
  
It's a cold contrast to how Suzy's squeezing his hand on the other side, how she's resting their joined fingers on top of Arin's thigh, and he feels the stab way deeper than he should - through his ribs, through his heart, straight into his spine - as Dan mutters something nonsensical and climbs out of the long booth, looking pale as a ghost as he walks away.  
  
Barry doesn't go quiet, and Ross doesn't even react, but Suzy squeezes Arin's hand tighter. He doesn't look at her. He can't. All he can do is stare at his retreating boyfriend, someone he's been half in love with for _years_ now, and the way that he's goddamn leaving the entire fucking restaurant just from a little sign of affection.  
  
And he knows he should just take a deep breath. And he knows he should stay calm. And he slides out of the booth and feels himself taking steps that are just a little too heavy anyway.  
  
"Baby?" Suzy calls tentatively from behind him.  
  
"Just a second, sweetheart," he says immediately, holding up a hand over his shoulder as he starts weaving through tables and makes a beeline for the glass door at the front of the restaurant.  
  
This isn't something he wants her to hear.  
  
He takes in Dan as he stands outside with his back to the door - hands laced at the nape of his neck, head hanging down, frozen in place - and as he shoves the door open, he feels himself spitting the words before he can even think them. "What the fuck?!"  
  
Dan doesn't even look at him, just stares down at the sidewalk. "Arin, dude-"  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Arin asks. "What the hell is this?"  
  
"I'm seriously-"  
  
"Do you know how long we've been fucking dating?" He rounds on him like a predator, dipping his head down slightly but still unable to see Dan's face through his hair, only sees the way he takes a step backward in response. "Huh? Do you?"  
  
"Yeah," Dan just barely whispers.  
  
"Almost two months. Yeah. And you can't even hold my hand. Holy shit." He shakes his head. "Do you know how long I've _wanted_ this?" Arin presses a fist to his own chest, where he can feel his heart pounding furiously through his ribs, somehow still alive and well after that vicious puncture inside. "How many nights I fucking _dreamed_ about it? About being with you, taking care of you, goddamn just wanting to hold. Your. Hand. I-I-" He can barely breathe, steps back and forces a harsh laugh. "Holy shit, Danny, I don't know what you want from me anymore."  
  
He doesn't reply.  
  
That's not enough. Arin needs a reaction. He needs a motherfucking fight right here, right under the goddamn restaurant's awning. He feels his hackles rising as he spreads his arms wide. "I thought you wanted this. You know that? I thought that maybe for five seconds you might actually want a fucking relationship with me. Like, a real one. With everything I have with Suzy, with everything that you are to me and that I thought I-I was to you, and-" He cuts off for a second, vividly aware of the tightness in his chest, but he pushes it away, storms forward, ignoring the crack in his throat. "What the fuck is so _wrong_ with me, Danny?"  
  
Dan's shoulders roll forward and he wraps his arms around his skinny torso, shivering, like he's trying to consume himself.  
  
"I-I just don't fucking _get_ it! What the hell is wrong with me? Why would you pretend you wanted something with me if I'm such a goddamn piece of shit that you change your mind just a few fucking days later?" His cheeks are burning and his eyes are blurring and he can't stop talking, can't stop pouring it all out. "What is it about me that _disgusts_ you so much that you can't even hold my fucking hand under a booth in a restaurant?!"  
  
And suddenly Dan is retracting, whipping his head up, leaning forward to shout "Will you shut the fuck up?!"  
  
Arin stares at him, eyes wide, shaking like a goddamn leaf.  
  
"Holy _shit,_ Arin, maybe it's not fucking all about you!" Dan breathes a little laugh of his own, the air shivering as it floods from his lips, tears pouring down his cheeks in an unstoppable line. "Maybe for once in your life you can realize that maybe somebody else has some shit going on for a change, huh? Maybe you can stop making literally every single fucking thing about you and actually _pay attention!_ " He slaps himself in the chest with the force of his fist shooting through the air, his hand splaying across his heart. "Because I'm fucking _drowning_ here, Arin! Do you even realize that? I'm scared _shitless!_ "  
  
"What the fuck are you so scared about?" Arin asks softly, because he has to talk, he has to, he can't stand here in silence and watch Dan breaking apart right in front of him - he was wrong, that's _not_ what he wanted when he came out here looking for a fight.  
  
"Holy shit." Dan gives him this terrifying grin, wide and broken and devastating, and he shakes his head. "Oh my God, Arin, have you _met_ me?"  
  
"I-I don't understa-"  
  
"I," he whispers, tapping himself on the chest with every few words, "am so. Scared. Because of you. Because of what I _feel_ for you. Don't you get it?" Danny steps forward and grabs him by the shoulders, hands shaking. "You're the first guy I've ever had feelings for, and I'm almost forty years old. I spent my life terrified of putting a foot out of line because if I did I got the shit bullied out of me, you know that. Do you know how many times I got called a goddamn fag?"  
  
Arin flinches at the term, at the venom on Danny's voice when he says it.  
  
"One of my best friends in high school got the shit kicked out of him for making out with a dude at a party when he was drunk, like...Jesus, Arin." Dan pushes him back a step and turns away, walking to the restaurant wall, leaning against it and taking a few soft, tear-filled breaths. "A-and you want so much from me. You want it all. And I thought I could do that. And maybe I fucking can't. Maybe I'm just made wrong. M-maybe I just..."  
  
"Hey," Arin whispers as he tentatively approaches him, hesitating a few feet away. "You're not made wrong. You're not."  
  
"I wanna make you happy, you know that?" Danny shakes his head. "It's not a good day if I haven't made you laugh at least once. And I can't do that. I can't give you what you want. I can't make you happy."  
  
"You make me happy just by breathing, Dan," Arin presses. "I don't even have to be in a room with you. Just knowing you exist is enough to make me smile, do you realize that?"  
  
Dan dips his head and gives another quiet little sob.  
  
"You're incredible. You're the most well-made person I know. And you fucking made _yourself._ You knew it was different and you knew it was strange and you didn't care, you stuck with who you were anyway. And you knew some things were wrong and shitty as hell and you didn't give up. You kept fighting until you became this incredible man you are. Do you know how much I admire you? How much I love that about you?"  
  
Danny shakes his head. "But I've made you so fucking angry. I made you think it was all you, that you weren't good enough-"  
  
"No, you didn't. I did that. I didn't talk to you. I didn't ask what you wanted. I didn't ask why you were afraid. God, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Me too," he whispers. "I'm sorry for not just speaking the fuck up, but I-I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to figure it all out so you didn't have to see this."  
  
"Listen to me, babe," Arin says as he stands beside him, staring at his profile. "You don't have to do that. Okay? I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. If this is too much, if you just...can't get over all this? That's okay. I'm still gonna be your best friend. I don't care as long as you're happy."  
  
"But then _you_ won't be happy," Dan says, turning his head and meeting his eyes.  
  
"I will be, though. I will. I'm happy just loving you, whether it's like a bro or a boyfriend. I can adapt. I promise."  
  
For a moment they just stare at each other, cheeks wet, eyes red, and then a car pulls into the parking lot during that slow after-lunch hour and Dan swears softly under his breath, grabs Arin's wrist and tugs him behind him all the way to their car on the back row, where Danny climbs up and sits on the hood and Arin stands hesitantly in front of him, between his legs. "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up, dude," Dan says softly.  
  
"It's okay. You went through shit. And we can figure it out together if you want."  
  
"I do. I think I do. I'm just so scared I'm gonna fuck it all up."  
  
"Is that all you're scared of?"  
  
Dan hesitates, pulling his long legs to his chest and resting his lips against his knees as he thinks. When he speaks again it's so quiet that it almost gets lost in the California breeze. "I'm scared of disappointing my family. I'm scared of proving everybody in school right - that I'm made wrong, that I'm worthless, that I'm weak. I'm scared of feeling so much that I don't remember which way's up anymore. I'm scared of focusing so much on you and losing my drive for my music." He laughs softly. "God, that all sounds so ridiculous, doesn't it?"  
  
"No, I think it all makes perfect sense. I mean, a fear doesn't have to be logical to be valid, you know?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Seriously," he presses. He touches his hands to the hood of the car and leans over so he can catch Dan's eyes. "Look, I...I wanna help you. Okay? Can you think of anything I can do to help you?"  
  
Danny looks away for a moment, eyes flitting like a butterfly, before they nervously rest on his again. "Can I be like...selfish for two seconds?"  
  
"Dude, totally, what do you want?"  
  
He bites his bottom lip. "Can I...have a little space? Just so I can figure all this out?"  
  
Does it hurt? Yeah, maybe a little, just a gentle tap on the bruise inside his ribs. But he shuts it down. It's not about him, he reminds himself. Not right now. Right now it's about making sure Danny feels safe and secure in their relationship, if he even still wants it. "Yeah. You can have all the time and space you need, okay? Just...just promise to catch me up on what you figure out when you're ready?"  
  
"Of course." He blinks. "You're still my best friend no matter what happens, you realize that, right?"  
  
"You too," Arin says with a small smile. "No matter what happens."  
  
~~  
  
No plans are made for the weekend. All the Grumps keep to their separate pursuits for once. And Monday? Monday Arin snuggles close to Suzy when their alarm goes off and murmurs that he's taking a sick day, that he needs it to himself, and she doesn't fight him or ask too many questions, bless her.  
  
She goes into the office. Arin spends his day thinking and sketching in a sketchbook like he hasn't done in years and bingewatching things on Netflix. When Suzy comes home he asks how everyone was, but can't help but focus especially on Danny.  
  
She slides her fingers soothingly through his hair nice and slow, like she knows somehow, and simply says "I think he's coming down with a cold. He might not be in tomorrow."  
  
Arin stares at the wall and lets out a deep sigh.  
  
~~  
  
Arin records an entire new series with Ross the next day, unconsciously sinking into him, wrapping the comfort of one of his longest friends around him like a blanket. He manages to banter a little, yeah, but Ross carries most of the show with his antics, and he's forever thankful for it.  
  
They're taking a break between episodes, and Arin goes to stand up and grab some snacks when Ross softly says "Hey, Arin?"  
  
He looks down at him and blinks.  
  
"Everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, man," he says instinctively, "why?"  
  
"Things just..." Ross narrows his eyes in thought for a moment. "...you'd tell me if something was fucked, right?"  
  
Arin can't help but smile a little sadly at him. "Yeah, dude." He sighs long and hard as he walks around the couch, palming lazily through Ross's hair as he does so and hearing Ross complain loudly from it. "Nothing's fucked, Ross, don't worry. It's all gonna get figured out."  
  
~~  
  
On Wednesday Dan walks in the door with Barry and immediately meets Arin's eyes and stares at him for a long second before looking away and heading to his couch while Barry watches the both of them. No smile, no reassurance, no nothing.  
  
Arin can't bring himself to film anything for the rest of the day, spends his time watching Ross work on some animation for a gag on the channel and delving into the comfort of the lines and the shading that Ross puts on the screen while Suzy, Barry, and Dan record for once. The distance is appreciated.  
  
~~  
  
He doesn't look at Danny on Thursday, and they make it an hour or so through the day before he feels warm hands resting on either side of his neck on the office chair. "How's it going?"  
  
Arin's heart immediately starts pounding in his chest, hard and heavy and a little dizzying just at having Dan so close to him. "Oh, you know. Not bad. Getting shit done."  
  
"Yeah, I know the feeling." Danny leans over, drapes his arms over the back of the chair and peeks over one of Arin's shoulders. He doesn't touch him, but he's so close that Arin can feel his cells vibrating in his shoulders, his back, his cheek, just waiting for some sort of collision.  
  
"How've you been?" Arin finally asks as he lays a messy line on the Cintiq, undoes it, lays another, undoes it again.  
  
"...busy."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It's been enlightening."  
  
Arin practically shakes with the need to know what he's talking about, but he bites the tip of his tongue hard enough to taste blood until the worst of it passes. "...I'm...glad?"  
  
"Mm-hmm." When Dan finally rests his chin on Arin's shoulder he feels a rush of adrenaline shoot straight through him. It's almost overwhelming. "Hey, do you, uh, wanna maybe come over tomorrow night? Bar's going out with some friends and-"  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'd love to, dude, you kidding me?" Arin asks as he turns his head to see him.  
  
They're so close, maybe an inch apart, and Dan grins at him, eyes dropping to linger on his lips for a long intentional moment before he pushes away. "Seven o' clock. Don't be late."  
  
~~  
  
As Arin stands at Dan and Barry's door and waits for it to be answered, he can't figure out if he's feeling hopeful or dreading what's inside. Things change so fucking fast, can completely turn around in a day much less a week. He doesn't know if he's ready for the potential pain nor prepared for the possible comfort.  
  
Dan opens the door before he's ready and Arin meets his eyes tentatively, looking for a sign of what to expect. He gets a smile in response. "Gonna stand there all night?"  
  
"Fuck you," Arin says on instinct with a grin of his own, shouldering past Dan and feeling his shoulder light on fire where it brushes against his chest. He stands awkwardly in the living room as Danny shuts the door, locks it, wanders over to the couch, and has a seat. He pats the cushion next to him, and Arin follows the unspoken invitation, kicking off his shoes and sitting beside him.  
  
They just stare at each other for a long few seconds, Danny turned halfway on the couch to face him, before he softly speaks. "I missed you."  
  
Something in Arin's chest swells. "I missed you too."  
  
"It was bad. Like, super bad." He chuckles. "Every second I didn't text you I felt like I was losing a minute off my life. Fucking sucked."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah it did," Arin says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Did you...figure anything out?"  
  
"Mm-hmm." Danny nods. "Figured out that I've got a lot of shit to unpack in my own head. Started some work on that."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"That sucked too." He grins at him. "Like, serious suckage. But...I don't know, I got through it. I called Brian a couple of times. Barry stayed up almost all night with me Monday night." He hesitates, fiddles with his hair, before clearing his throat. "Funny enough, neither of them were all that surprised that we're dating."  
  
Arin's eyes widen. "You _told_ them?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Holy shit, he didn't expect that. "And you...were okay with that?"  
  
"I mean..." Danny narrows his eyes in thought, rubbing his chin, before he speaks softly. "I'm proud as hell to call you my best friend. So shouldn't I be just as proud to call you my boyfriend?"  
  
Arin stares at him, more than a little aware of the ridiculous grin on his face. "Fuck, dude..."  
  
"I'm not...perfect. I'm not fixed or all better or any of that. But I mean...I'm trying?" He laughs. "That counts for something, right?"  
  
"It counts for goddamn everything right now."  
  
"Yeah?" Dan smiles at him, even tilts his head to the side like a puppy. "You mean that? Am I really worth all that trouble?"  
  
Arin wants to reach up and touch his cheek, nestle his fingers in his hair, press a gentle kiss to his forehead, but he holds back, still isn't sure where the boundaries are anymore. So he just stares into Danny's eyes with all the love and adoration he can muster and softly says "You're worth everything, dude."  
  
Danny watches him like he's considering something, gears turning right behind his eyes. It's intoxicating, Arin thinks, having his full attention, feeling the warmth of his eyes and his smile wash over him like the ocean. He wants to soak it all up, wants to use it to buffer away the uncertainty of the past week. And as Dan rests his elbow on the back of the couch and leans into his hand, he opens his mouth and says "You know I love you, right?"  
  
It takes Arin's breath away, that simple confession, how easy it looks for Dan to say it, and he can't help but gasp, feels his eyes sting for a moment before he laughs softly from the sheer pleasure of it, from feeling warmth take him over from the inside out. "And you know I love you too, right?" he parrots back just to see Dan's eyes sparkle a little more as he chuckles too.  
  
"Probably more than I deserve," Dan says.  
  
"No, dude, you deserve-" Arin's words cut off with another quiet gasp when Danny reaches out and cups his cheek with one of his massive hands, his thumb drawing a slow stripe over his cheekbone. He's vividly oversensitized suddenly, wanting Dan to consume every inch of him, but just that simple touch of his hand is almost enough to overwhelm him and he thinks he might die if he gets anything else.  
  
Dan tilts his head a little further, a few strands of hair falling in his eyes. "Can I kiss you?"  
  
Just like that. Just that easy. Like Arin's heart isn't about to pound out of his chest.  
  
He can't remember how to speak anymore. So he just nods.  
  
Tension vibrates through the air as Dan leans in and hesitates just an inch away from his lips. They hover there for a moment, breathing deep, taking each other in, before Dan gently bumps his nose against Arin's, nuzzling them together. And then he closes that last bit of distance and gently presses their lips together, chaste and warm, and Arin feels every bone in his body melt.  
  
Danny pulls back that inch again, staying close, and exhales shakily. "Okay. So. Not as bad as I thought."  
  
Arin chuckles. "Fuck you, dude, my kisses are always magical."  
  
"I'm not saying they aren't, ass," Dan fires back with a grin, "just that...I'm okay. I'm not having a meltdown or whatever."  
  
"Yeah." Arin reaches tentatively to touch Danny's hand where it's resting between them, gently squeezes it when Dan turns his palm to accept it.  
  
"Can I maybe try it again?"  
  
"Dude," Arin says softly, warmly, "you can kiss me as many times as you fucking want."  
  
The second touch is just as sweet as the first, but this time Danny lingers, and Arin groans against his mouth. As Dan gently nudges his fingers into Arin's hair he reacts in turn, leaning closer, touching Danny's shoulder for stability.  
  
God, he wants to drown in him. He wants to give up this body for a few hours and just sink into him, slick sweat on skin and fingers bruising his hips and legs wrapped so tightly around each other. But this here, this gentle push-and-pull of their lips and tongues, this isn't bad either. It's damn addicting.  
  
Dan skates his fingers over Arin's soft chest, the swell of his pectoral, the lift of his stomach, coming to fist in his shirt right at his waistband, and Arin can't help but respond with a gasp, especially when Danny pulls away and presses a few warm, sloppy kisses over his cheek.  
  
It's almost too much. And it's so strange, being so overwhelmed by something so small, but Arin grabs Danny's forearms, squeezes them, whispers a ragged "Slow down, stop, hold on."  
  
Dan tilts his head and looks him dead in the eye, brow furrowed, as loving and concerned as ever. "You okay, babe?"  
  
The ease of the pet name coming off Danny's slick, freshly-kissed lips makes Arin's heart flutter, and he laughs, touching their foreheads together and closing his eyes. "I'm fucking incandescent."  
  
They'll move forward, he decides, day by day, seeing how they feel, seeing how easy the ground is to cover that day and taking it slow as they need. Because Dan's worth it. He's worth the wait. And Dan seems to think Arin is too.  
  
As Arin laces their fingers together and hovers close, he basks in the simplicity of the moment, wrapped up in warmth.  
  
~~  
  
They pull their cars into a restaurant parking lot a couple of weeks later, all five of them pouring out of the car, Ross complaining loudly about Arin elbowing him in the ribs the whole damn way and Suzy teasing him about it while Dan and Barry bring up the rear still trying to carry on a serious discussion about their rising rent the following year. It's safe, the enormous family that Arin's grown to love, and he holds Suzy's hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles just to see her smile and watch Ross gag.  
  
They all fall into line to order, Barry in front with his trusty usual that he always orders, and Arin lingers near the back, staring at the options, chewing on his bottom lip as he thinks.  
  
When warm arms drape around him from behind he lifts his hand, touches the forearm, prepares to feel Suzy's forehead press into his spine, but the weight of a chin on top of his head makes his heart kick into overdrive, and he gasps, leaning back and feeling Dan's chest catching him.  
  
Shit. Holy shit.  
  
As Danny kisses the top of his head and gently brushes his thumb in dizzying patterns over Arin's breastbone, Arin catches his breath and is almost afraid to look up at his lover, afraid that he's going to break this first public display of affection that he's ever gotten from him. But he tilts his head anyway, tips it back and catches just a fraction of Danny's face above him.  
  
Danny doesn't look at him for a while, perusing the menu as he is, but he eventually looks down and grins when their eyes meet.  
  
"Hi?" Arin says, smiling so wide he's surprised his face doesn't split down the middle.  
  
Dan doesn't verbally respond. He sends him a playful wink instead and purses his lips with the most obnoxious and slobbery kissing noises known to man. Arin's not one to be outdone. He immediately responds with tongue flapping and the most disgusting noises he can make, twisting his face into some disturbing caricature of his normal expression.  
  
"Gaaaaaay!" Barry sings out somewhere behind them, Ross sending off wolf whistles to accompany it, and Arin responds by throwing up a middle finger just before Dan grabs him by the shoulders, twirls him in a really clumsy spin and dip, and gives him a nice, heavy kiss right in front of them. And it doesn't matter to Arin that he's choosing the anonymity of a restaurant that they barely ever go to, that it's a slow day with next to no other customers in the place, that the kiss is over in a second and the two of them are cracking up like it's the most ridiculous joke around just from the sheer pleasure of having it done.  
  
He's trying. That's what's important. That's what matters. And he loves it.


End file.
